I tried Geo done eight years and it sent me into a delusional spiral that was unparalleled in my medicated history. I was under the delusion that my wife was cheating on me with the person visiting from Germany, staying in our house. I had thought's of great sadness, and all encompassing depression. I very much wanted to end my life. I know however the key words to avoid saying to mental health people. Wanting to commit suicide is one big one. If you think I'm joking they'll lock you up in a heartbeat, and dope you into a drooling mass. I made that mistake once, once mind you. It's all it took to end that way of talking. I mean you can think it, all you want, just don't say it out loud. Unless you want a hospital stay. My doctor was really cool and knew me very well. He gave me a choice, a room with a view for a couple of nights at a hospital, could come and go as I pleased. Then there was the other with the incarceration in the mental dept. for at least three days. I chose the regular hospital room. I spent my time thinking and writing, and drawing.
I was in the company of a very nice heroin addict, who had hurt himself on purpose at the rehab center for the morphine that he could get at the hospital. It was barely enough to keep the edge off, he would say as he used all the morphine right away. Then he would ask for more, and get into an argument with the nurse, because he couldn't have anymore. He did work it so the new shift knew nothing about the disagreement, and would give him the morphine, rather than deal with him. I found it to be highly diverting, and sad to say entertaining. He would smile and laugh after they left. He regaled me with stories of horror and hilarity. A strange combination I know.
I had come to this place because of inadequate medication and poor choice on my part to make a med change before the holiday's. I learned my limits though, and it was a very unhappy experience. Up point however in this whirlwind, my youngest daughter was born in a clear point in the madness which really took affect about one month later. Morale to the story never change your meds before holiday's, and your child's birth. By the way Geo done sucks. It caused a fire to be lit in the form of a delusion that I could not get a grasp on. It is part my fault, and the medicine just did't work for me.
Mahalo.
