Time flows is not and accurate representation of our being here, and the events that unfold. It is, and will be, a was and a is. throughout our understanding is what a creation can be or not be. There is always, a never and forever contradicting each other. I feel pain everyday and breath sorrow, like a hot soup into my lungs. It scalds the throat and it does suffocate my lungs deprived of air. I have a will that is broken like your grandma's bone china when you were three. I possess an understanding of things on all sides now. Having died and being brought back has clarified things for me. I will suffer here for my beautiful family and I have a grandchild who is on the way. I have to support my family. While I am here. Even if all I have to give is exist.
Sunday, March 30, 2025
Monday, July 29, 2024
Stumbled and standing
I stand before I stumble again. I have survived a heart attack only to find the floor again. I am at a low, but I worry about my only reason to live. My family will fall without me. I am dying, but I can't leave yet. Not again as I have died and know what's next is peaceful. I am not worried about me. I am no longer a Christian as I have found it to be false. But I don't fault people for believing in it. As I know it's fine no matter what you believe. Take it from someone who knows. You will be fine. I'm just worried about the living. That's the true hurt. My family needs me to be stronger and I will be. My family is hurting and I will find a way them to survive without me. I love them with my whole self. My partner is amazing and smart, but also fragile and gentle. She needs assistance and I will give it till my dying breath.
Monday, March 30, 2015
Deathly sadness and Black Coffee
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
A way home (CRAP TO READ)
P.s. This stuff is meant to spill my soul, and since pain is soulless, I guess I am too. Sad, sad, and illogically the answer to my question. It doesn't reflect on a my life's meaning though. Still haven't found the door on that one.